Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)

With ADHD, I was often chastised for misunderstanding simple instructions, forgetting things, not finishing what we start, doing things the wrong way, not caring enough, being too emotional, not being emotional enough.

I soon ended up carrying so much baggage relating to how I’d been rejected, that it felt like everything I did would result in rejection.

After a time, we often learn to become people pleasers to try counter the rejection– by being more helpful, seeking approval, and saying yes to everything because we are trying to counter balance that teeter-totter of rejection/approval.

Of course, with executive function issues, we are often unable to finish what we start, or adhere to and honor our commitments to others easily for a multitude of reasons.

This can, in turn, lead to more heightened experiences of rejection when those same people question our dedication and for over- promising and under-delivering, yet again.

I became trapped in an insidious feedback loop where I’d take on more tasks to compensate for the ones I’d dropped, and I’d fail to achieve those as well, begetting more experiences of rejection. 

Glorious freedom and long, sunny days stretching out ahead. For most, the end of summer term used to signify nothing but a high point in the year, but for Amy Cocksedge, now 24, thinking back to the school holidays conjures up the beginning of an agonising emotional spiral. Something that later carried through to her university days, too.

If messages from friends grew quieter – something that tends to accompany the natural ebb and flow of a busy break – a sensation would wrap itself around Amy's body. Chest pains. Racing thoughts. Hot tears. Every day without a text "would feel like a direct, personal attack," she explains. For Amy, any ambiguity would see her leap to a devastating conclusion: that everyone secretly hates her. Tormenting thoughts of being disliked, or having failed in some way, would override everything.