This:
It’s important to understand that hormones, surgeries, and other aspects of transition do not always result in the dramatic physical changes many of us hope for. HRT, in particular, is often seen as a miracle cure that will bring about rapid changes in fat distribution, breast development, and softening of facial features. While HRT can bring about incredible and affirming changes, it’s not a magic wand. The results can vary widely depending on factors such as age, genetics, and individual body characteristics.
At 55, my body doesn’t respond to HRT in the same way that a younger person’s might. The progress has been slow, and while I am grateful for every sign of change, the truth is that I may never fully meet the physical expectations that the world imposes on women. And that’s devastating—not because I want to conform to societal ideals of beauty, but because I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and be accepted for who I am.
The relentless pursuit of passing can also lead to harmful behaviors. Some transgender women may resort to extreme dieting, over-exercising, or engaging in risky procedures to try to achieve a more “feminine” appearance. The focus on passing can overshadow the actual goal of transitioning: to live authentically and find inner peace. Anxiety, depression, and a sense of failure can take the place of the joy of transition when the emphasis shifts from self-acceptance to meeting external standards.